last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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