I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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