shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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