I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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