Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
