To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
