Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
