you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
