the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize