No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
