wanna go halves on a baby?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
