I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
