I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
