Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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