he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
