She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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