Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
