I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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