Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize