your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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