"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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