Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Every concussion has its silver lining
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
