i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
