Dude my mom stole all your condoms
420 ftw
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
