Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry about my life...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
