My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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