Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
