So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
