Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
