if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize