Are we in a gay sports bar?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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