Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
