butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
