Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
