That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
