Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
