The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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