I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my poor anus
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
