I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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