My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
