I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
