i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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