But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize