i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
