so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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