i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
