we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so let's talk penis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
