We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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