there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
