So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
