i just had sex bonerless
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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