this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
His nipple licking is glorious
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