He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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