Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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