My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
