It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
