just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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