I bet he comes in French.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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