am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
