...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
