I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
