What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
