hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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