Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
